Love makes the world go round. This is true for cats and humans alike. With Valentine’s day upon us yet again, I thought I would help you all by sharing with you my romance and love tips. I have had some experience in this, having wooed and won over the most beautiful cat in the world, so therefore I can vouch for my advice. Quite simply, it works.

- Make your intentions clear. It is important to make the object of your heart aware that you like them. I suggest flirting, subtly but with meaning; no one likes an obvious cat. Oh and if anyone thinks that cats can’t flirt, that’s rubbish, preen your head, blink your eyes, let your tail swish in a sexy way… There are so many ways cats can flirt, but use your assets to your advantage in winning over the one you like.
- Ensure you look your best at all times. Especially when you may bump into the object of your affection. Make sure you are clean and well-groomed at all times. Any self-respecting cat does this anyway – humans, well sometimes they don’t always look their best, but this is important. You need to take pride in your appearance, as you should take pride in everything about yourself. I am not saying relationships are based on looks, but the fact that you make an effort with your appearance translates into you making an effort in other walks of life.
- Persistence. Sometimes it takes a while to prove your love, or for the recipient of said love to reciprocate. I believe persistence pays off, it did in my case. But beware there is a line between persistence and needing a restraining order. They don’t usually issue them for cats but that could change, so stalk like a cat, not like a psychopath.
- Be creative. Romance is creative. Love is creative. It’s about hearts, poetry, soul. Think like a romantic and then act like a romantic. It’s so important that you use all your creativity to win the heart of your loved one, because if you do then you’ll have that heart for keeps. I feel that I have the soul of a poet so it is easy for me, but for those who feel less like a romantic, you can study classic love stories and learn from them. Romeo And Juliet is a good one but I must warn you, it doesn’t end well.
- Don’t be arrogant. Some cats think they can pester the cat they like until they give in – and I have heard that humans can do the same. No, in order to truly capture a heart, you have to win them over, be self-depreciating, not arrogant, and woo them. You would rather someone dated you because they liked you rather than were scared of you, after all. Or at least I hope you would.
- Think about a grand gesture. I once took my true love some flowers – which isn’t easy for a cat – and I climbed a tree with them, so they would know how much they meant to me. It all went horribly wrong, I got stuck up the tree, dropped the flowers and had to be rescued. But my cat love realised how much I loved them, for me to put myself through that. I would always recommend a grand gesture. Just try not to involve too much danger to yourself or others.
- Once you have won their hearts, don’t just give up. Too many cats – and humans – rest on their laurels, thinking that once they have their relationship, job done. But love is like a flower, it needs feeding in order to grow. You must feed your love – pilchards always work for me. So always keep the romance alive.
Follow these simple rules and you are sure to have romance this Valentine’s Day either with a new love or an established one.
And a very Happy Valentine’s Day to you all!
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